Join My Mailing List

Sign up for monthly updates!

Visit me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Goodreads

The Pleasure of Sin (Club X, #1)

Google +1

Shadows of Ecstasy

Den of Desire

The Pleasure of Sin

 

Hi Everyone,

This continues my series on Marriage.  Now, for Surviving the Wedding Guerrilla Style!

3)  Ready, set, plan!

A great way to get ideas for your wedding is to go to bridal events.  Most malls hold them and they are a fantastic way to get acquainted with local vendors.  Plus, you can be entered into giveaways and contests for services!

As you are planning, one of the first things you need to understand is that this day is about the two of you.  It is not about your parents, family or friends.  Sure, you want them to enjoy themselves at your wedding, but you also want to create a memorable moment with your fiancé. 

During the planning stages, everyone will have an opinion on what you should do.  From the flowers to the cake, you will have so many ideas coming at you- you may feel like you are in an avalanche.  As well-meaning as these suggestions are, they can be a little overwhelming.

Try to keep it in perspective that ultimately this day belongs to you and your fiancé.  Your parents had their wedding.   You don’t have to do things their way just because they think it is the right way.  And remember, there is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding.  In the end, it will be a day you will remember for the rest of your life.   You don’t want to remember it as a day that you did what everyone else wanted and forgot about your own desires.

3)  Can I disinvite everyone?

As you get closer and closer to the big day, the demands will get more stressful.  From “remember that Aunt Mary can’t sit next to Aunt Gladys” to “don’t forget that Uncle Bill has a new girlfriend”, for some reason it will be up to you to mend family squabbles and keep the peace in the family with your wedding.  It won’t matter that you never met Uncle Bill’s girlfriend or that you haven’t seen Uncle Bill in ten years.  Your family will want to make sure that everyone is included so that it doesn’t “look bad.”  These discussions can easily become heated, especially as the guest list continues to rise and you suddenly have no room for people that you want to have there.

My suggestion is to separate the “want to invites” from the “have to invites.”  Make a list of people that you feel absolutely must be there.  Then, get rid of a few “have to’s.”  Don’t ruin your big day by not inviting the people you want there.  And try to remember that one day will never cure past family squabbles.  It is impossible.  Family happiness

should not depend solely on your wedding day.  It is too much pressure for anyone to bear.  

3)  Ready, set, plan!

A great way to get ideas for your wedding is to go to bridal events.  Most malls hold them and they are a fantastic way to get acquainted with local vendors.  Plus, you can be entered into giveaways and contests for services!

As you are planning, one of the first things you need to understand is that this day is about the two of you.  It is not about your parents, family or friends.  Sure, you want them to enjoy themselves at your wedding, but you also want to create a memorable moment with your fiancé. 

During the planning stages, everyone will have an opinion on what you should do.  From the flowers to the cake, you will have so many ideas coming at you- you may feel like you are in an avalanche.  As well-meaning as these suggestions are, they can be a little overwhelming.

Try to keep it in perspective that ultimately this day belongs to you and your fiancé.  Your parents had their wedding.   You don’t have to do things their way just because they think it is the right way.  And remember, there is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding.  In the end, it will be a day you will remember for the rest of your life.   You don’t want to remember it as a day that you did what everyone else wanted and forgot about your own desires.

3)  Can I disinvite everyone?

As you get closer and closer to the big day, the demands will get more stressful.  From “remember that Aunt Mary can’t sit next to Aunt Gladys” to “don’t forget that Uncle Bill has a new girlfriend”, for some reason it will be up to you to mend family squabbles and keep the peace in the family with your wedding.  It won’t matter that you never met Uncle Bill’s girlfriend or that you haven’t seen Uncle Bill in ten years.  Your family will want to make sure that everyone is included so that it doesn’t “look bad.”  These discussions can easily become heated, especially as the guest list continues to rise and you suddenly have no room for people that you want to have there.

My suggestion is to separate the “want to invites” from the “have to invites.”  Make a list of people that you feel absolutely must be there.  Then, get rid of a few “have to’s.”  Don’t ruin your big day by not inviting the people you want there.  And try to remember that one day will never cure past family squabbles.  It is impossible.  Family happiness should not depend solely on your wedding day.  It is too much pressure for anyone to bear.  

I hope you have a great weekend,

Shauna Hart

Hi Everyone,

This is going to start my series of blogs on getting married and staying married.  For quite some times, women have gathered around to talk about what marriage is really like.  Unfortunately, most of us only share those real world examples with each other because they are much too private to post anywhere where someone could see them.  After talking with a friend of mine, I began to draft a few of these myself.

I must preface this with saying that all of the advice listed below is coming straight from yours truly. 

I got the ring, now what?

So, you’ve done the unthinkable.  You actually found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with… and surprise, they feel the same way!

But before the ring slides all the way onto your finger, you start getting the dreaded question.  “When is the big day?”  It is the universal truth.  You barely have a couple of minutes to enjoy engagement bliss and everyone expects you to have a game-day plan of when and how the big day will happen. 

Before you begin to hyperventilate over all the things you’re not sure about, here are a few things to consider:

1)  Breathe!

Take a few minutes to breathe and enjoy your new life as an engaged couple.  Don’t let family or friends pressure you into making decisions you aren’t ready for.  Remember, you can never get these precious moments back once they are gone. 

Enjoy them! 

Enjoy each other!

After all, that is what all of this is about.  The two of you starting your life together.  Not making sure you have the perfect setting for one night. 

So, go to the movies, have a romantic dinner together, take the day off and spend it relaxing with each other.  In the end, that is what your engagement and ultimately your married life is about.  Don’t ruin the time you have together with stress.

2)  There are only 2 people in this relationship!

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how your friends or your family think your relationship “should” work.  They will all have opinions on the way things should happen, but you have to remember that this relationship belongs to the two of you.

Your friends and family do mean well, and they do want the best for you.  The problem is that their idea of “best” might not match up with your idea.  For instance, how many times has your mom wanted you to wear a dress that she thought would be perfect for you that you absolutely hated?

The most important thing to remember is “Are you happy?”  If you and your fiancé are extremely happy, but everyone else thinks you should be doing things a different way, then don’t listen.  Not every relationship is the same.  And even if your parents have been married for twenty-five years, it doesn’t mean that their method will work for you.   Find out what does work and stick with it!  Don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong.

Stay tuned for more on this subject as I will keep posting.

Have a great week,

Shauna

Hi Everyone,

Good news!  I recently received a contract for my contemporary romance novel, Sins of the Past which will be out sometime in 2012 from New Concepts Publishing.  Once I get a release date, I will share it here :)

Also, I just sent off my paranormal erotic romance novel, Bonds of Blood, to the editor.  Once I have news on when this book with be out, I will keep you up to date!

For now, here is a little teaser:

            Mina’s eyebrows lifted.  “What’s his name?”

            Kat shook her head.  “It was nothing like that.  I just had a bad dream.”

            The girl’s lips curled up slightly.  “Must have been pretty bad judging from those bags under your eyes,” she pointed out.

            Kat tilted her head to the side.  “Are you always so silver tongued this early in the morning?” she challenged.

            Mina let out a harsh laugh.  “No, sometimes I let my fangs show.”

            Kat shook her head as the waitress walked up to take her order.  She quickly ordered a cup of coffee and beignets.  The jazz band outside began to play a slow sultry tune. 

Turning back to Mina, her eyebrows rose.  “So, when are we going?”

Mina leaned back in her chair, studying her intently.  “Anxious?”

She pursed her lips.  “I like to think of it as interested.”

Mina let out a long sigh.  “I’m still not sure about this.  Are you sure you’re ready?  I mean, no offense, but you seem pretty vanilla to me.  Are you sure you want to do this?”

She squared her shoulders, trying not to take offense to the other woman’s comments.  “Mina, it’s all I’ve thought about for the past three days.  I’m ready,” she assured.

The other woman’s eyes narrowed, the tips of her fake vampire teeth peaking over her lips.  “We’ll see.”

****

I'm really excited about this new book which I plan to develop into a series!  More to come on this :)

Have a great holiday week,

Shauna Hart

Hi Everyone,

A while ago, I posted about doing things that will change your life. A lot of times we get mired down in the day to day things and we tend to forget the things that are important.  One of these things is continuing to grow.  True living stops when we stay stagnant.  Stagnation begins with holding on to things that are no longer helping us grow. 

One of these things for me was the relationship I had with my biological father.  My parents divorced when I was three years old and because of that my father wasn’t around much.  He has always lived at least three hours away, a lot of times more than that.   Even when I did spend time with my father, I always felt like I was competing for his attention.  A lot of my childhood was spent trying to make him happy with me and wishing that he was the type of dad that I saw on tv.  

I grew up with The Cosby Show, Growing Pains and Family Ties.  In those shows, the fathers were always hands-on and really cared about how their kids were doing.  So, it was hard to understand as a child why my father didn’t seem to want to spend time with me.  Most of the visits I had with him, I spent with my grandmother or my aunt.  As I grew up, I began to expect less and less from my father.  In all honesty, I felt like he didn’t really love me.    From what I saw, my father was always better with kids that weren’t his.  With me, it felt like he saw me as a burden – something that he HAD to do.

Eventually, as I grew into an adult, I had to accept the fact that he would never be the father that I wanted.  Along the way, we have tried to rebuild a couple of times, but it always comes back to the same fact.  My father will never change.  I can continue to let that cloud my life with pain or I can let it go.  I can move on and build a life that I am proud of.

My point is this…Everyone has a past.  Many times we have painful issues from our past that we have to deal with.  But we can’t let them hold us back from continuing to live.  We can’t continue to wish that things would change.  I was watching an episode of Dr. Drew and one of the patients said “I just want my dad to love me and want to spend time with me.”  One of the counselors said “You didn’t get that.”  We can’t become stagnant because we wish things from our past will change.  They won’t.  We each have our own baggage that we have acquired over the years.   It’s your job to unpack that baggage and move on with your life.  Don’t let it weigh you down to the point that you can’t travel anymore.

So, what are you going to let go of?  I can speak from experience when I say you will feel much lighter.  And, always remember, you can change your life.  You can be anything you want to be.  BUT you have to give yourself the power to be that.

Enjoy life!

Shauna

RSS feed